Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

"I'd stumbled into the middle of an evil, insidious cult of chainsaw worshipping maniacs. I had to wonder if we'd let our religious freedom go too far in this country, or maybe our immigration laws were just too lax." - Jack Chandler

Private detective Jack Chandler (Jay Richardson), hired to find a missing girl (Linnea Quigley), unluckily stumbles into an Egyptian chainsaw-worshiping cult that really didn't want to be found; looks like he'll have to be sacrificed to the Chainsaw of Anubis.

This film has everything a piece of exploitation trash should have, in the exact right amount, in the exact right order, in the exact right combination. This is one of the ultimate b-movie pictures. You have Linnea Quigley's perfect body, loads of blood-spattered tits, beautiful women naked most of the time, dancing babes, chainsaws, flying bodyparts, an absolutely preposterous story, and loads of funny lines. This belongs alongside Re-Animator and Evil Dead as one of the greatest b-movies of the '80s--plus it's got a LOT more tits.

It moves along at a brisk pace, doesn't waste it's time with anything and is entertaining from beginning to end mostly because it doesn't take itself seriously at all. But don't expect to write a dissertation on it. Feast your eyes on the Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_36QoP_E-0 (isn't that the cutest butt ever?)