Zombies: The Beginning (2007) - 2/4

The final film of the great trashmaster, Bruno Mattei, Zombies: The Beginning is a fitting finale to a truly odd cinematic career. If there's anything that characterizes Mattei's approach, it's that anything goes. He comes up with an idea and in it goes. We sometimes say of people that there's no filter between their brain and their mouths; with Mattei, there's no filter between his brain and his script. Never once have I ever had the feeling that Mattei censored himself or even considered, "This idea might be too weird." So was his approach with this shot-on-video Philippine zombie epic that harvests ideas from every corner of Mattei's brain. That's not to say Zombies: The Beginning is a perfect movie or even a good movie. It's riddled with flaws and I'll talk about those too, but first the plot.

Zombies begins with the discovery of a woman on a raft by a rescue team. After recovering, she explains to the biotech company for which she works that her ship encountered an island where the dead are reanimated and everyone else was killed. They don't believe her and she becomes a Buddhist nun. Half a year passes and she's still having nightmares of her experience. The opportunity to be free of these nightmares presents itself in the form of Paul Barker, a bigshot scientist for her former company that wants to take her back to the island for research along with a military team. Off they all go to the island where they find themselves in a zombie trap with days to go until help arrives.

I'll start with the faults. There are some boring stretches, for one. These are dialogue-laden stretches and the actors are mostly dreadful, the dubbing worse than dreadful. Hey, this is a Mattei film! The lead actress (Yvette Yzon) isn't bad at all, but her dubbing does her a disservice. She has to carry a lengthy, indignant speech before the board of directors early on, then she has to debate Barker at the convent, then we see the military team prepping and bantering. These military guys, incidentally, have the worst dubbing of all; one of them has a voice best described as what Homestar Runner would sound like if he were a morbidly obese castrato. Even the rescue mission is played out at length with focus on verisimilitude, when it really adds nothing. I guess you could call it filler until we get to the island. It's a drag, but it's worth slogging through. Yzon is a beautiful lady (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2068456/) and you get to look at her the whole time, so it's not so bad.

While the digital shooting is quite good, Mattei makes the mistake almost all shot-on-digital zombie movies make: slow-motion. Why must they all do this? Close-ups of zombies eating, often in slow motion. Make-up effects are more effective when glimpsed quickly. In fact, several things are shot in slow motion when they needn't be.

Another fault is one that at times is also one of the good points, and that's the use of cliches. The military guys are the same military guys that you've seen in every low-budget action sci-fi/horror of the '80s, except, if possible, even more cardboard and disposable. So you can kind of predict the scientists and the military won't get along, in good Day of the Dead fashion. It's kind of annoying. These guys aren't even as interesting as the morons in Rats: Night of Terror, because at least those guys were weirdos from underground. On the other hand, it can be amusing to see what films he's 'referencing'. The girl saved from the raft is Aliens, her returning to the island to overcome her nightmares is Mountain of the Cannibal God, the military and scientist mix is Day of the Dead, etc.. And I daresay Mattei's been watching horror hentai movies and playing Playstation games, because this movie's got some fricken weird ideas!

Or maybe I do Mattei a discredit. Maybe he really did just come up with this disturbing stuff himself. But disturbing is the word. Once they get to the island, we see Mattei really kick into action. The cinematography is serviceable, but it's the lighting that's excellent. It's always dark and raining on the island, but the way it's lit makes it look like a video game. You'd almost think you were watching a cut scene from some military strategy game. The video game comparison doesn't stop there. Once inside the research compound on the island, we're in Resident Evil territory. Humans have been used for horrendous research, there are fetuses everywhere, zombie women in cages, zombie women pregnant with monster fetuses, a zombie with some strange gadget on his head. And it gets even more incredible, but I dare not spoil the ending. It's really so bonkers, so outrageous, I was in awe. Mattei actually disturbed me. It even outdoes the end of Rats: Night of Terror.

And he frightened me too. The jump scares and suspense moments are quite often very effective. Not so much for the soldiers: I knew they're zombie-fodder from the get go. But the biologist/nun is our worthy protagonist and I sympathized with her. I cared about her fate. It helps, too, that Mattei designed some really interesting creatures and put the effort into good make-up effects.

I don't want to spoil anything further, as much as I would like to say more. I would rather let you discover. There are things in this movie that are just over-the-top weird and brilliant: midget zombies, mutants, apes. Things anyone but Mattei would have said, "Well I'd better have a reason for this." It's great trash and a fitting farewell. Bruno outdid himself.